As the saying goes, “Of all the rights of women, the greatest is to be a mother.”
Motherhood is by far the most life-changing role I have ever been given, and every day I thank God for giving me this privilege to be called “mama”.
It is true when they say you will only truly really appreciate your mother when you become a mother yourself.
My mother passed away when I was about 4 years old, and about three years later, my stepmom came into my life. As much as I miss my mother, I am thankful for my stepmom, who has been there for my family and me.
When I was growing up, I did not always realize this, but my stepmom had time and again put her own life in the backseat for us.
Take for example, her dream. I remember asking her once what her ambition was. She told me it was to be a housewife. She wanted to spend time with her children and cook for the family and manage the household. But because of our family’s financial situation, she never got to enjoy that dream. Instead, she had to work hard every day with my dad, to make ends meet.
Hobbies? Friends? Her ‘me’ time? She pretty much sacrificed all that for us too.
It is funny isn’t it, that a mother somehow would not think twice about sacrificing for her child?
Now that I am a mother myself, I am beginning to see myself doing the same, albeit not as much. A disclaimer here: I do not think that to be a “good mother”, you must lose yourself in the course of raising your kids, or have your life revolve solely around your children.
But since having my baby, I found myself choosing to give up certain things that I would never have given up before. Career, for one, was something that I held on to very tightly in my youth. I had big dreams and great plans. However, career is now something that I would readily give up or change, if it means I could be there for my child more.
It is funny isn’t it, that a mother somehow would not think twice about sacrificing for her child? Come to think of it, it is a journey of sacrifices from the moment we see that positive line on a stick. A mother sacrifices her preferences, her diet, her body shape, and her comfort to carry and give birth to her baby. And then, she continues to put her child first for the rest of her life.
Why do we do that? I don’t know. It’s like an instinct, an inborn desire to do all we can to take care of the little ones that God has entrusted us with.
But beyond all that, I really want to help her create good memories.
I look at my daughter every day and feel such a surge of gratefulness. I want to do all I can to raise her the best I can. I want to send her to all sorts of classes and provide the best education. I want to be able to give her the right opportunities to flourish and realize her potential.
But beyond all that, I really want to help her create good memories. Memories that will assure her that she is loved. Memories that will build her self-esteem and self-confidence. Memories that will carry her through tough times in life. Memories that will shape her values, principles and character.
At the end of the day, I hope to be able to teach her to fear God and love people. Be brave and be kind. Go for her dreams, yes, but remember that dreams can change or sometimes even come through in different ways. And always know the who and the what that matters the most.
If I can do that, I would be a very happy mom.
“As a mother, my job is to take care of the possible, and trust God with the impossible.” – Ruth Bell Graham